As a coach you know that one of the most devastating happenings
in a game is when you get that technical! It costs you money. It
gives the other team the ball. They get more free throws. You can be
tossed from the game! It can even cost you the GAME!
I realize that you intentionally get one to inspire and ignite
your team, but that is usually a gamble when you're behind. You want to get
everyone all fired up. Yet, most of the time it doesn't work.
So what can you do when you feel the calls are going against you? It
seems as if the refs can only see your players fouling. There goes the
whistle again. "It was only a slight touch! Don't they ever
call them for the same thing?" Or maybe it was
"Hey, ref. Can't you see! He just crushed us underneath. That
was a charge. You let them get away with everything."
I believe your goal, usually when you're hollering at the
ref, is to get his attention, hoping that he'll see the action your way.
Yet it seems to backfire. They go against you. What could you do to change
all that? Wouldn't you love to be able to talk the refs in a way that got
them to see it your way? Wouldn't you like to get a break on the fouls?
Well here's a way to do it!
I have designed this unique seminar to teach coaches methods to be
heard by the refs and motivate the refs to listen to them! This
seminar is for one-on-one sessions with the coach and or for a group of
coaches. It is tailor made for you!
For example: "Hey, Bill, I'm shocked! Shack just knocked
my guy over. No foul call." Later, the ref (Bill) says to
you: "He's big. He gets some space around him to move. I can't
call it on him every time someone gets floored!"
The usual way the coach responds is: "You never give us a
break. You favor him because he's the big star. You don't have the guts to
call it on him!" "TECHNICAL!"
The ref feels insulted. He feels attacked. He's got the
power, so he gets you with a "T". How could you have
responded to him?
"Yea, Bill, it's really tough when Shack's moving. You
can hardly tell if it's him or us! He's so darn huge no one can tell."
Bill nods his heard, like you really heard him. He feels
understood, not attacked. The next time down the floor the whistle blows.
It's a charging foul on the Shack!
You influence the referee and avoid the
big "T" by communicating your vulnerable truth and by fully
understanding the referee's position. You tell the ref how you feel
about what the ref called, and what that is doing to you.
Let's look at that original message: "Hey, Bill, .
Probably the most important part of the interaction with the ref is
when he says something back to you to defend him. Did you notice how our
coach responded rather than attack back that gets him the big
"T"? Here was the winning response:
"Yea, Bill, it's really tough when Shack's moving. You can
hardly tell if it's him or us! He's so darn huge no one can tell."
What the coach did was prove to the ref that he actually
understood his dilemma. Since the ref felt understood, he felt good about
himself and the coach. Therefore he started noticing what the coach had
confronted him about.
This is an old truth. "Seek first to
