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Effective Communication with the Referee

"How to Influence Referees and Avoid
by Jim Cremin

Technical foul on the way and ref stops listening anyway !

As a coach you know that one of the most devastating happenings in a game is when you get that technical! It costs you money. It gives the other team the ball. They get more free throws. You can be tossed from the game! It can even cost you the GAME!

I realize that you intentionally get one to inspire and ignite your team, but that is usually a gamble when you're behind. You want to get everyone all fired up. Yet, most of the time it doesn't work.

So what can you do when you feel the calls are going against you? It seems as if the refs can only see your players fouling. There goes the whistle again. "It was only a slight touch! Don't they ever call them for the same thing?" Or maybe it was "Hey, ref. Can't you see! He just crushed us underneath. That was a charge. You let them get away with everything."

I believe your goal, usually when you're hollering at the ref, is to get his attention, hoping that he'll see the action your way. Yet it seems to backfire. They go against you. What could you do to change all that? Wouldn't you love to be able to talk the refs in a way that got them to see it your way? Wouldn't you like to get a break on the fouls? Well here's a way to do it!

I have designed this unique seminar to teach coaches methods to be heard by the refs and motivate the refs to listen to them! This seminar is for one-on-one sessions with the coach and or for a group of coaches. It is tailor made for you!

For example: "Hey, Bill, I'm shocked! Shack just knocked my guy over. No foul call." Later, the ref (Bill) says to you: "He's big. He gets some space around him to move. I can't call it on him every time someone gets floored!"

The usual way the coach responds is: "You never give us a break. You favor him because he's the big star. You don't have the guts to call it on him!" "TECHNICAL!"

The ref feels insulted. He feels attacked. He's got the power, so he gets you with a "T". How could you have responded to him?

"Yea, Bill, it's really tough when Shack's moving. You can hardly tell if it's him or us! He's so darn huge no one can tell." Bill nods his heard, like you really heard him. He feels understood, not attacked. The next time down the floor the whistle blows. It's a charging foul on the Shack!

You influence the referee and avoid the big "T" by communicating your vulnerable truth and by fully understanding the referee's position. You tell the ref how you feel about what the ref called, and what that is doing to you.
Ref is listening !
Let's look at that original message: "Hey, Bill,
I'm shocked! Shack just knocked my guy over. No foul call."

As you can see I put each part in color. The red is your feelings. The blue is what happened. And the green is the problem you're experiencing. So, all you do is tell the ref (1) how you are feeling about what is happening, and how that is a problem.

Probably the most important part of the interaction with the ref is when he says something back to you to defend him. Did you notice how our coach responded rather than attack back that gets him the big "T"? Here was the winning response:

"Yea, Bill, it's really tough when Shack's moving. You can hardly tell if it's him or us! He's so darn huge no one can tell."

What the coach did was prove to the ref that he actually understood his dilemma. Since the ref felt understood, he felt good about himself and the coach. Therefore he started noticing what the coach had confronted him about.

This is an old truth. "Seek first to UNDERSTAND; and then to be UNDERSTOOD!"

Coaching to influence the referee and avoid the TECHNICAL, just utilize the skills of this highly effective and unique hands on seminar. Give me a call, and you and I will make it happen!

Now the referee is listening !

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